Not Even My "Implantation" Can Prevent Me From Becoming A Successful Writer and Lover

OF JENNIFER CONNELLY (THE TRULY FRIENDLY)

2008-12-12T16:22:00.000-08:00

MY WOMANLY FRIENDS/LOVERS :

MY GRATEFUL THANKS TO THOSE SPECIAL LOVERS

-- FOR THE MEMORIES OF THOSE GREAT TIMES I HAD SPENT

WITH THEM (YES, THE JENNIFER CONNELLYS IN SINGAPORE --

GENTLE WOMEN FROM ELSEWHERE)

LINDA -- FOR LOVING ME UNTIL I SADDENED HER ....
JENNY -- FOR BEING THE FIRST GENUINELY BEAUTIFUL WOMAN I'D REALLY HAD!
MS LEE -- FOR ACCOMMODATING TO MY HIGHLY DEMANDING NEEDS
THAT NAMELESS BUT UNFORGETTABLE GIRL (OF THE NIGHT) -- FOR BEING THE FIRST GENUINELY YOUNG, PRETTY AND HAPPY GIRL I'D HAD!
MY ONE AND ONLY (STIIL SEARCHING FOR HER, THE LOVE OF A LIFETIME, FOREVER IN MY HEART -- AMONG THOSE NUMEROUS WOMEN WHO HAVE HAD MADE -- AND YET WILL STILL MAKE -- THEIR PERSONAL APPEARANCE AND PHYSICAL PRESENCE IN MY LIFE) --TILL I DIE! WHEN WILL I FINALLY FIND HER? A LOVE TO LAST MY WHOLE LIFE THROUGH?
JENNIFER CONNELLY -- FOR BEING MY IDEAL AMERICAN WOMAN (BEAUTIFUL, INTELLIGENT, HONEST AND SINCERE!
"XUAN XUAN" -- FOR NOT SINGING MY PRAISES, AND TELLING ME LIKE IT IS!

Control By Stealth: Governmental and Corporate Snooping

2008-10-29T19:17:00.000-07:00

IMPORTANT FACTS

OUR CITIZENS

MUST KNOW ABOUT

GOVERNMENT SURVEILLANCE

IN OUR POSTMODERN SOCIETY

There is an inverse relationship between governmental surveillance of the citizens and personal privacy and freedom. As surveillance increases, freedom and privacy inevitably decline! Yes, total security demands total surveillance! Would all our private moments -- eating a slice of breaad, drinking a cup of black coffee, reading a book, writing an essay, making sweet or passionate love to a woman, sleeping on a bed, listening to a favourite song, watching a good movie, taking a shower, SHITTING, URINATING and thinking about a current event -- be sacrificed? Who, among us citizens, would agree to such sacrifices?

Even without being a totally repressive regime (like the autocratic and authoritarian Singapore Government), the individual liberties of the citizens can be significantly compromised! Certain vested interests will use concerns over security and efficiency to advance an unacceptable level of surveillance across the whole of our society! There is an obvious trade-off between security/efficiency and the privacy/autonomy of the individual. Powerful groups in our society will always advocate security/efficiency; and defenders of personal privacy must always remain at a financial and logistical disadvantage.

We face the danger, in the 21st century, of the gradual establishment of totalitarian forms of government within democratic nations -- with the use of modern surveillance technologies (to which we, as citizens, are all subjected) by the governments of the world. Disturbing questions abound: What are the possible outcomes of the implementation of such surveillance technologies? How much surveillance is too much? When is the cure worse than the disease? How much risk and inconvenience are we prepared to accept in order to preserve our liberties and our privacy?

We must, as citizens, confront these problems openly! Everyone in our society should! We should not lose the freedoms we now so cherish! If we don't stop surveillance-creep, we will get the surveillance, and the society, we deserve! Creeping government repression -- through the use of surveillance technologies -- will lead ultimately to the establishment of a controlled society. Some argue that such a possibility is non-existent. Are they prepared to betray, recklessly, all of our society's freedom? But for what?

In the same vein, Big Business has also owned and heavily influenced, via advertising and other pathways, a supine and acquiescient mass media. It inadequately covers, and often ignores, the reporting of abuses and of the erosions of our legal freedoms and rights by the surveillance authorities during the past several decades.

I'm not interested in a sham compromise between the surveillance government and its victims or targets. I'll challenge repressive legislations which creep, stage by stage, over my liberties! (Compromises? Making minor cosmetic changes? Ostentatiously shelving part of the political programme -- but intending to introduce it in stages, by stealth, later?)

I won't be neutralized in any way! On such a basic topic as my freedom, I will not hold "balanced", "fitting", "harmonious" and "effective" views -- just to compromise with the politically-motivatesd surveillance authorities. I will, in fact, deliberately and unapologetically hold "extreme" views -- to challenge and oppose the government! I don't care about the government's "concessions": I'm not duty-bound nor obligation-tied nor responsibility-conscious enough to reciprocate positively or productively to such "friendly" or "benign" overtures!

The surveillance authorities cannot be trusted, for their motive is not only to hang on to power but also to increase such power -- as its perpetuation will enable them to exert absolute and total control, eventually, over our society and to assert their unchallengeable superiority and dominance over all who come under their rule.

But, of course, they can't defend themselves against me -- against my public and open exposure, revelations and criticisms of their surveillance methods, techniques, measures, activities. actions, attitudes, plans and technologies. They couldn't in the past -- and they still can't now (and they never can in the future) defend themselves by relying on reasoned arguments and rational explanations. There will be too many inconsistencies, illogicalities, contradictions and ambiguities in their arguments and explanations. They will thus, as expected by me, knowing them all too well from my knowledge and reading of evidences based on past events -- as proffered in records (both official and unofficial) of our short history, continue to promote a climate of fear in Singapore and to instill more loathing of the government among our citizens (by manufacturing and concocting bizarre scenarios, interpretations, narratives and documentary "records" -- involving, possibly, the invoking of conspiratorial theories and the spinning of spy stories ) in order to give and maintain a "democratic" veneer for their totalitarian practices and rulership.

This is the reality of the current situation in our political and corporate system.

US Presidential Elections -- 4.11.2008

2008-10-28T13:45:00.000-07:00

VOTE FOR BARACK OBAMA

SENATOR Barack Obama will be, I predict, in the coming US Presidential Elections on NOVEMBER 4, 2008, voted into the US Presidency -- as the first African-American Prersident!

Mr Obama, looking "inexperienced", has gained stature -- showing amazing stamina and strength. He is cool and steady! These are qualities we want in a president. He can grasp -- intellectually and clearly -- policy issues; he can focus, consistently, on a FEW strategic priotities.

Undecided voters will find his "intellectual" appearance likeable. (Yes, you don't drink beer with a guy like Obama!) After all, it is preferable to have someone who shows a clear understanding of complex issues as President, isn't it??

Yes, no American election since 1932 has had such a deep downside --of fear -- and such a high upside -- of hope! Yes, yes, Yes!

IN GREATER INTELLECTUAL AND PHYSICAL CONTROL & MORAL ASCENDANCY

2008-10-23T22:05:00.000-07:00

The Future Is Ours To Fight For

(IN OUR SOULLESS, HEARTLESS,

MINDLESS AND CONSERVATIVE

SURVEILLANCE SOCIETY)

Do I, as an INDIVIDUALIST, suffer from "pomophobia" (fear of postmodernism)? Well, only those who choose to obscure the very facts of my lifestyle and my life-history -- on which the truth about my situation must be built -- can be so absurd as to ask such a question! Have they not been reading my blogs -- especially http://afighterandalovertoo.blogspot.com/ -- carefully, diligently and intelligently? Indeed, why should I "fear" postmodernism? Is it that intimidating and threatening as a historical force? No, I don't find postmodernism a frightening reality to be reckoned with. Even though I don't accept easily and unthinkingly what it means and represents to me -- as a man, human being, writer and citizen -- I can always contain and control its effects on me! I may suffer and be a victim of its anti-authorial and anti-individualist practices and activities, but ultimately I will triumph over it -- with my determined spirit and persistent resourcefulness!

I will continue to defend the integrity of the Western intellectual traditions against their detractors, attackers and critics -- in my regular blog postings and commentaries elsewhere in other websites.

The PAP government has been engaged in assassinating my character for a long time now. Its officers and officials have twisted and distorted my biography. And, most significantly, my love for Singapore has been unjustly questioned. Yes, it's time for these toadies and lackeys to suffer and face REBUKES (and continuing opposition and resistance) by long-suffering souls like me!

I may be poorer and poorer in my finances; but I am now getting richer and richer in my mind. I am becoming more powerful as a writer. (And I am achieving a more harmonious, balanced, fitting and potent sexual relationship -- for me, yes! -- with my current lover and girlfriend. I love her dearly and truly -- especially her loving gestures, in her kind and helpful responses to my carelessness and untimeliness! But it's still now a whole new ME! Wow!)

The Modernist Lover In A Postmodern World

2008-10-17T00:16:00.000-07:00

A Man Like Me -- "Cheated" At Work And Play!

This is the latest report on the progress of my life as a man. My miserable sexual life has started to change for the better now--especially beginning from the month of September 2008! It is certainly a great improvement over the majority of my sexual experiences over the last 36 years. It is an exciting, challenging and messy time in my life so far! Yes, I've been making significant headway as a lover and writer.

In spite of my limited financial resources (a situation caused in no small way by my detractors and enemies from the Party), I have managed to come into close physical contact--reaching the stage of sexual intercourse--with numerous women (on no less than 14 separate occasions in September alone)! This has admittedly included the experiences of having sexual relations with prostitutes--an option which I'd been forced, by the Network (or Party), into exploring. (But what can I do? I'm forced to live as a poor bachelor who is still trying to earn a living as a writer!) Yes, this approach to achieving sexual satisfaction with women, of course, is easily accepted by postmodernists, but as a modernist and oppositionist myself, I'd rather find out for myself which of these options is 'true'--rather than uncover, or explore, as many as possible of such varied, but ultimately unchallenging, approaches to achieving sexual satisfaction with women. Yet, is this still not advancement of a kind? In fact, it is a vital breakthrough for me, as a man, human being, writer and citizen. My attitudes and positions on postmodernism, the Party, globalization, capitalism, and the imperatives of economic development (as heralded by the "New Morning" propaganda of the Party) are anything but mainstream or pro-establishment! Hence my difficulty--no, the impossibility!--of achieving full sexual satisfaction with women, in spite of years and years of my trying to do so!

But I have no illusions regarding this area of my life as a man. My detractors, enemies and electronic spies from the Party--men and women who are envious of my qualities; who feel sorry for themselves; who are insecure, weak and deficient; who detest rock and popular music and songs; and, yes, women who pretend they are in "love" with me; who are prepared to tell dishonest stories (dismissing themselves as whores in the process); who try to, yes, "abuse" and "manipulate" me sexually; who express "romantic" feelings for me; and, yes, those who are anti-intellectual, anti-philosophy, anti-literature, and anti-history types; and men and women who become vengeful, petty-minded and intrusive postmodernists; and, lastly, those cunting and canting members of the Party--yes, those unprincipled and privacy-invading governors, rulers, officials and officers from the government, are not going to allow me easily to assert my full authority, power, dominance and superiority--based on their vital, unconditional and complete respect (and on my own self-respect) for my autonomy, freedom and independence! Yes, I do want love, but only from a woman that I love. Then I can have sex with her--with my strongest respect (and my deepest love)!

You can easily trace the unmistakable presence of my fighting spirit and resourceful being--as a human, man, citizen and writer--in the course of reading through all of my blog entries/postings in all my 3 well-established websites ( http://trainofmypresence.blogspot.com/; http://afighterandalovertoo.blogspot.com/; and http://wholecity.blogspot.com/ ).

"Nothing without labour," says the old VICTORIA SCHOOL motto. But I would reply, HERE AND NOW, IN THIS 21ST CENTURY (OF GLOBALIZATION, POSTMODERNISM AND SURVEILLANCE TECHNOLOGIES -- as I have discovered and learnt), based on my actual personal experiences and knowledge -- including the knowledge gained from the wide and deep reading of the great works of the Western intellectual tradition, and on my own personality and character, as well as on my beliefs and principles. values and convictions, that this is ULTIMATELY the TRUTH : TRUE -- BUT ONE NEEDS TALENT AND INGENUITY AND STUBBORNESS TOO -- TO SUCCEED IN LIFE!

May you become my SUPPORTER, ADMIRER, HELPER, READER, SYMPATHIZER, FRIEND AND DEFENDER --if you aren't already one!

Of Intellectuals and Their Public Responsibility

2008-08-21T02:38:00.000-07:00

Let The Honest and Principled

Intellectuals In the Whole World

Think About This

Those who know must scream. Intellectuals or anyone who can contribute need to speak up. They've got to scream when they see areas of injustice. But there is a price to pay for this kind of work.

[CHIA SHI TECK, former NMP; as quoted in Chee Soon Juan's Singapore, My Home Too (Singapore: Chee Soon Juan, 1995)]

The "Productive" and "Loving" AUTHORITARIAN Leaders and Their Flunkeys

2008-08-20T06:01:00.000-07:00

TO BE FREE:

MY STRUGGLE AGAINST

AUTHORITARIAN AND

AUTOCRATIC OPPRESSION

The Singapore Government and its employees--enforcement agents, ISD goons, MSD lackeys, spies, intelligence and security officers masquerading as "journalists" and other flunkeys and toadies--are always trying to put their own words into other peoples' mouth! They twist and distort what their critics and opponents say and write--with impugnity! What fucking affrontery! I hope LKY, his useless son and the rest of the Singapore Government conmen die soon!

Remembrance Of Most Things Past : 1953 -- 1972

2008-07-23T23:52:00.000-07:00

My Three Major

and Most Significant

Influences from The West

During The Late 1960s

and Early 1970s

Introduction:

Pop/Rock music, the protest movement against the war in Vietnam by youths in the West, and the works of Western writers and thinkers were my three major influences during the late 1960s, while I was still a secondary school student in Victoria School, Singapore.

(A) POP/ROCK MUSIC

(Media: Rediffusion; Radio; Record Albums):

I was already hooked onto the early exciting songs of The Beatles in my primary school days. It was a time of Beatlemania. The Beatles became an unprecedented worldwide pop culture phenomenon. The English pop/rock music group was to become my all-time favourite band. They dominated popular music in the 1960s. The Beatles opened up an exciting new world of hope, joy and sense of freedom for me.

Most of the Beatles' songs were sung and written by Paul McCartney and John Lennon.

Guitarists, singers and composers John Lennon (1940-80), Paul McCartney (1942- ), and George Harrison (1943-2001), and drummer Ringo Starr (Richard starkey; 1940- ) won fame in Britain with their recording "Please Please Me" (1963). The 1964 song "I Want to Hold Your Hand" introduced them to the United States, where their concerts became scenes of mass adulation. Revolver (1966) and Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1967) are ranked among their finest albums.

(James) Paul McCartney is an English singer, guitarist and song-writer, and a key member of the Beatles (1959-70). McCartney's contributions were predominantly ballads, including "Yesterday" (1965), "Hey Jude" (1969) and "Let It Be" (1970). After he left the Beatles, McCartney and his first wife, Linda Eastman McCartney, subsequently formed and performed with the rock band Wings (1971-81)), recording such albums as Band On the Run (1973). His more recent solo albums include Tug of War (1982), Flaming Pie, Memory Almost Full, and Chaos and Creation in the Backyard.

A rock musician, John Lennon was a founding member of the Beatles. Along with Paul McCartney, John Lennon wrote most of the Beatles' music, including "A Hard Day's Night" (1964), "Help" (1965), "Strawberry Fields Forever" (1966), "A Day in the Life" (1967) and "Revolution" (1968). As a social critic, John Lennon wrote "Give Peace A Chance" (1969) and "Imagine" (1971). Lennon married Yoko Ono in 1969 and continued to compose and sing after the Beatles disbanded in 1970 -- with such great songs as "God", "The Luck of the Irish" and "Jealous Guy". He was shot to death on December 8, 1980 by crazed fan named Mark David Chapman. John Lennon's murder by the demented fan Mark Chapman in New York City on December 8, 1980 caused mass mourning around the world.

All Things Must Pass (1970) was George Harrison's finest post-Beatles solo album and, according to rock critic Nigel Williamson, "arguably the best post-Beatles solo album of them all." George Harrision, according to Sir George Martin (the Beatles' record producer), was never regarded at the same level by John, Paul or him. But George's songs did get better -- "until eventually they got extremely good." George's growing skills as a songwriter was evidently and eventually recognized by the listening public. His "While MY Guitat Gently Weeps", is, according to Nigel Williamson, "one of The White Album's most enduring tracks." And, to Nigel, George's classic song "Something", which appeared in the album Abbey Road (and was also the second most covered Beatles song after "Yesterday"), was finally able to rival the greatest compositions of John and Paul. And who can forget "Here Comes The Sun" (from Abbey Road), which was another song that matched many of John's and Paul's contributions to the album.

The Beatles created many great albums -- such as Rubber Soul (1965), The White Album (1968), Abbey Road (1969) and Let It Be (1970) -- and numerous hit songs (mostly as singles issued from these great albums), and were always growing as musicians and songwriters. As the group matured in the late 1960s, their songs became more lyrically complex and more sombre in melody. These songs elevated them into another higher level of commercial and artistic achievements. But they were, to me, still at their most brilliant and creative best singing ballads.

Even though I later became interested in listening to other pop and rock groups or artistes from the 1960s and 1970s, I had never given up my high opinion of this great band and their wonderful, amazing songs. They were not just a very successful pop group. They had, as the rock magazine writer Sean Egan wrote, "socio-political impact as de facto leaders of the world's youth during the 1960s". They reflected the Sixties youth counter-cultural values (such as peace, love, freedom and brotherhood), which I had absorbed with a sense of liberation. They represented, in the words of Sean Egan again, "the young, fresh, optimistic, and insurgent zeitgeist of that tumultous decade."

Jack Kroll, writing in Newsweek on 23 October 1995, commented: "What the Beatles did in the '60s remains the most thrilling surge of creativity innthe history of pop culture. They obliterated distinctions of high and low ...... They made it clear that if art is to survive in the techno-millennium that looms ahead, it must be hooked into the realities and redemptions in the days of our lives."

I had grown up with The Beatles, and they had profoundly influenced my life--and my personality and character, and my attitudes and beliefs--as a man, human being, citizen and writer. Good morning, World!

(B) THE PROTEST MOVEMENT IN THE LATE 1960s

AGAINST THE WAR IN VIETNAM

(Newspapers and News Magazines):

Even as a primary school student, I was deeply affected and disturbed by reading reports of wars and violent conflicts in the Straits Times daily. In secondary school, outside school hours, I was also reading political literature written by authors with anti-totalitarian beliefs. Such reading of anti-establishment literature contributed to my anti-war attitude and beliefs. I became an unconditional and strong supporter of the protest movement by youths in the West against the war in Vietnam.

To this day, I never regretted my fervent support for these anti-war protest movements in the West by youths and by many intellectually or artistically inclined leftist critics of the war in Vietnam. This is especially true now, when I am acquainted with the anti-imperialistic and anti-war writings of such Western intellectuals as Noam Chomsky, who is a prominent and vocal American critic of American foreign policy --especially its aggressive interventions in other countries.

(C) THE WORKS OF WESTERN THINKERS

AND WRITERS -- IN CONTRAST TO

THOSE OF CONFUCIUS AND

OTHER CHINESE/ASIAN ONES (Books):

I am not a leftist myself. I would rather consider myself a libertarian and a liberal (to use more traditional terms) or a democrat (to use a more modern political term). Although I am a Chinese-Singaporean, I see no need to apologise for my deep, wide and strong interest in the humanist intellectual tradition of the West -- in contrast to the works or writings of Asian or, more specifically, Chinese thinkers and writers. Why is this so? I will use the philosophical (or moral) teachings of the world-reknown and highly-respected Chinese thinker Confucius as an example to explain and show why I greatly prefer to focus and concentrate most of my time and effort on reading and learning from the writings and works of, not Chinese (or Asian) thinkers and writers generally but instead, Western thinkers and writers particularly!

To put it simply, I consider Confucian teachings too intellectually limited and deficient in range, variety, depth, quality, and interest. The great Chinese philosopher, Confucius, as a teacher and moral and political philosopher, is just too conservative -- with all his stress on traditions!--for me. How could I possibly accept his conservative, morality-centred teachings as my own?

It is interesting that former PM Lee Kuan Yew and the rest of the PAP leaders have now stopped using, promoting and championing Confucian ideas and principles to justify their autocratic and authoritarian practices and methods of government in Singapore. Yes, Lee Kuan Yew first championed "Asian" values; then he found it unworkable and indefensible as a concept (too much diversity in Asian religions, cultures and philosophies!). So he spoke, instead, of Chinese (or more specifically, Confucian) values! But he still found too many people challenging his justification of his brand of autocratic and authoritarian government through the use of Confucian values!

So now, Lee just talks solely about Singapore's own brand, method or way of government --without reference to either Asian, Chinese or Confucian values! (But what I want to ask is: Is it Lee Kuan Yew's way of government -- or THE SINGAPORE WAY OF GOVERNMENT -- that Lee Kuan Yew himself is promoting, defending and championing? And has LKY's method of government -- or what he would like to call Singapore's method of government -- absolutely NO place whatsoever for a libertarian and a liberal like me? Should I then, well, contemplate emigrating to a country like Australia or the U.S.A -- so that I can be more truly productive and creative, as a man, human being, citizen and professional writer?)

But I have digressed -- though not pointlessly. Just to repeat: I had already begun to form a range and depth of anti-establishment views and positions during these early youthful years as a thinking (and thus questioning) student.

And so, with all the learning from my wide and deep (mostly reading) experiences and knowledge (that I had already acquired from my time and effort spent in educating myself -- mostly in Western culture, philosophy and literature), yes, even before I entered the army as an eighteen-year-old National Serviceman on 20 December 1971, I had already become such a disillusioned young thinker -- with great antipathy towards the military establishment as well as the authoritarian and autocratic PAP Government at that time -- which my self-education up to that point in time had encouraged! Was it any wonder, I can now wisely ask -- knowing myself as I was then and now with the benefit of hindsight, that I eventually went Absent Without Official Leave from my military camp at that time -- just a few months after I was enlisted?

Well, the rest of my life from that crucial moment onwards, when I became a practical demonstration of what it meant to be a protesting anti-establishment -- and thus unwilling and unhappy-- full-time infantry soldier (for two-and-a-half years in the highly-regimented, submission-required and obedience-demanded Singapore Armed Forces), has now become posted with so many significant (and often undesired and undesirable) events and happenings that have had influenced or affected me personally; and my own story or history has thus been greatly transformed -- for better or worse! (And I'm still trying to find out!).

The Paternalist State

2008-07-18T21:58:00.000-07:00

From: Freedom In Chains:

The Rise Of The State

And The Demise

Of The Citizen

(New York: St. Martin's Press, 1999) by James Bovard:

Each person has a natural right not to be made a government pawn--a right to sovereignty over his own body, his own life, and his own peaceful actions.

Memories (and Records) of My Childhood, Boyhood and Young Adulthood At Tasek Utara Estate

2008-07-12T21:33:00.000-07:00

On My Early Peaceful Life

At Tasek Utara Estate

In Singapore: 1953-1972

I was born in postwar Singapore on 30 July 1953 at 9:15 A.M. at Merry Maternity Home in Geylang Road. My parents were married during the Japanese Occupation in Singapore during World War II. By the time I was born, my Hokkien- and Cantonese-speaking mother was already 36 years old--a "British Subject" in those pre-Independence colonial days. So was my father, who was a year older than my mother. He worked for the British colonial administration as a Customs Revenue Officer until his retirement in 1969.

At the time I was born, we were living in Tiong Bahru Road. After my birth, my family moved into a 3-room rented flat, built by the old Singapore Improvement Trust, at Tasek Utara Estate, where I lived for the next 27 years (from 1953 to 1980). I had many fond memories of my years at this beautiful, peaceful estate, which was bounded by Norfolk Road, Cambridge Road and Owen Road. We had many interesting, friendly and ordinary folks as our neighbours in those days.

I began schooling in 1960 at Norfolk Primary School. I was a very quiet student, who didn't play or mix with my fellow students but usually keep to myself. I spent my primary school years studying and playing with my 2 younger brothers, my elder sister and my nephews and nieces. I also listened regularly to Rediffusion Singapore and watched both Chinese-language movies from Hong Kong, Japanese movies and English-language movies from Hollywood and the United Kingdom of Great Britain. Television soon came onto the scene and many nights were spent watching programmes from both the English and Chinese channels.

Most of all, I soon discovered, during my spare time, the pleasures of reading books in English -- adventure stories and Nordic tales -- and popular magazines like Life, Readers' Digest and The Asia Magazine, for instance. As a Pre-University student, I would become informed about news makers and world events through reading regularly such Western news magazines as Time, Newsweek and The Plain Truth (published by a foreign church organization) -- as well as local newspapers like The Straits Times and The Singapore Herald.

INTERLUDE:

A Moment of Intrusive Observation (From A Point In The Present: On A Series of Personal Acts -- Of Active, Continuous and Conscious Self-Realisation):

This self-cultivated reading habit has continued right into my adulthood, when I graduated to the reading of more serious and "deeper" subjects. For instance, I like to read the works of thinkers and writers from the Renaissance and the Enlightenment periods in the West. And for the past 36 years or so, as I now look back at my reading experiences -- at first as a random and uncritical and unselective reader of books of all kinds and now, as a thinking and experienced Senior Citizen (having just become one a few months ago), I have, in this most significant year (2008), expanded my range and depth of reading -- into disciplines such as humanistic psychology, modern literature (especially European and American), political science, modern philosophy and modern science (and technology) -- and also into ideas, subjects and ideological/cultural/political movements such as existentialism, modernism, postmodernism, democratic socialism, globalization and modern surveillance technologies (as employed by modern governments) -- with an absolutely new discovery and realisation of how far the world has travelled, and of how different it has become now -- when compared with, or in contrast to, the world as I once knew it, back in those days while I was graciously growing up in that beautiful, peaceful place (not just of residence, no!, more than that!) -- yes, a place that I can now still remember as Tasek Utara Estate.......

We were poor but we were happy. Although my father was a British colonial government officer, he did not earn much--as he was just a minor and low-ranking employee. But he usually brought home late supper for my family every night when he returned from work. In later years, he would regularly brought back secretly smuggled Chinese-language movie magazines from Hong Kong and Taiwan for us to read. I would read with great interest, enjoyment and pleasure about the many Chinese movie personalities -- especially the beautiful female movie stars and actresses from Hong Kong.

My mother was a very hard-working housewife. She dutifully took good care of our household and of our needs without complaint. We were reasonably well-fed and well-clothed, even though we didn't spend much on our clothes or food. I was not religiously inclined or superstitious in any way but in those days, I always looked forward to all those Chinese festivals and other traditional rituals or religious celebrations or commemorative occasions (relating to historical events and human stories in traditional China) when we burnt paper money, lighted candles and joss sticks and offered food to the deities or ancestors. We had so much to eat then during such occasions!

I passed my P.S.L.E. in 1965 and joined Victoria Secondary School the next year. During the next 4 years, I became gradually and increasingly more interested in reading books that were outside the school syllabus (and borrowed from the public library) than in prescribed school textbooks. English was my best subject and my favourite classroom lesson was English Composition.

I passed my Cambridge School Certificate examination in 1969 and proceeded to enrol for pre-university education the next year (in 1970) at the same Victoria School. By the time I became a pre-university student, I had already lived through such political or national events as the Hock Lee Bus Company riot (in 1955); Legislative Assembly Elections (in 1955 and 1959); Chinese students' sit-ins and boycotting of school examinations; labour unions' strikes; the politically-motivated arrest and detention, under the ISA, of left-wing politicians (including Barisan Sosialis leader Lim Chin Siong) and professionals (including Poh Soo Kai, a medical practitioner), in Operation Cold Store (in 1963); Legislative Assembly Election (in 1963); the end of British rule and Singapore's merger with Malaysia (in 1963); Chinese-Malay race riots (in 1964); split with Malaysia and national independence (in 1965); the boycotting of Parliament in 1965 by Barisan Sosialis (BS) at a time when it had 13 MPs; Indonesian Confrontation in 1963; and Parliamentary Election (in 1968).

But during the 2 pre-university years (1970-1971), I didn't study hard. I couldn't focus and concentrate on my studies. It didn't help that for me, I realised that I was studying in the wrong stream--Science instead of the more interesting Arts. As a result, I failed miserably in my Higher School Certificate examination in 1971.

On 20 December 1971, I was drafted into the SAF as a National Serviceman for the next two-and-a-half years. Something happened to me for the first time in my life and it changed the course of my autonomous, independent, private and freedom-loving life up till then. What is the nature and cause of that momentous occurrence in my youth? I am still now trying to find the missing pieces in my puzzling life.

To return to those days in 1972 just prior to that major turning point in my life: A few months after my enlistment in the SAF, I went AWOL for a few days from my camp in SAFTI, where I was undergoing training as a potential Section Leader. I wanted, then, in my youthful naivete and budding political idealism, to protest -- in a symbolic gesture but with practical implication and moral significance -- against all the military establishments in the world (for their participation and engagement in violent and aggressive and destructive conduct -- in what I perceived then as pointless wars and futile conflicts). I had protested -- and made my point. Whether or not others understood what I was trying to prove, to demonstrate, to indicate and to express -- in that youthful, naive and idealistic way of mine in those days of (what I can now clearly see as) understandable ignorance, of inexperience, of immaturity and of the sheer lack of exposure to the many events, happenings and, in general, realities that have had, since those early days, informed and counselled my adult mind.

I surrrendered myself to the camp authorities in SAFTI after 2 days of thoughtful wanderings and was warded at the Medical Centre for observation.

NOTE:

It was while I was there as a patient that I discovered, for the first time in my life up to that stage, that I was being placed under governmental surveillance (for my alleged "subversive" behaviour and activity as an anti-military personnel purportedly engaging in subverting the SAF)! Henceforth, I became a resistant and anti-government citizen. That was the major turning point in my life, and the beginning of my "imprisonment" -- having lost my autonomy, freedom and independence -- as a victim of governmental surveillance. Subsequently, after I had left the SAF in June 1974, having completed two-and-a-half years of National Service, I became determined to be freed from the controlling reins and powers of the Singapore Governmernt! I planned, to put it simply, to be an oppositionist writer and political critic.